Last Friday...A good night out!
Ahh another Friday another party night, another piss up and another bunch of accidents lying in my path just trying to ruin my night...but hey im not that weak any other bloke who falls off a trainstation platform, gets his hand almost burnt off by some silly buggers fag holding technique and a number of close shaves while crossing the road by taxi's and bus's would probably have given up at the first hurdle but not me. No i enjoyed my night i carried on with my wounds and argh...ok ok, it was the beer, shots and whatever else i had that made me feel i was made of the strongest metal in the world it numbed my pain. Anyway enough of my injury prone self and on with the details.
We (Phil, Liam and me) started off in Wetherspoons in Westhoughton, at last a pint after a long days working in some shitty farm up Rivington and my Ipod freezing on me half way through the day made things worse but yes, at last a pint. Mmmmm Cold Pints. Anyway we are sat/stood, sipping/gulping away at our first pint of the night unknown at what was about to happen. We intended to catch the bus and go round some bars in Bolton if not for Phils crew turning up and inviting us aboard a minibus to....Wigan. Oh yes "who ate all the piesville" and after another pint...or half we didnt have enough time to finish as the minibus was already here we jumped in and to the sound of "I am the music man" what the fuck was that minibus driver on? We left for (Sunny) Wigan.
After we got to Wigan we made our way to our first bar desperate for a piss and cold enough for our manly nipples to stick out through our shirts we walked...and walked all the way to the other end of town and entered Bar Baa. Oh yes its J2 but a bar. Its the same as J2 but more enjoyable and they have some cool shots. It was here were we experienced our first major piss artistic trick. Phil came up with the idea "lets all put in for that £20 shot in a bottle." "nah" "come on" "erm" "I will" - liam. I'd already given my cash to Phil and awaited the green shit with eagerness only seen in a virgin about to get laid for the first time.
After about the 3rd shot of the green stuff we had thrown aside our crappy shot glasses, crappy pube ridden shot glass if your names Liam and began to gulp the shit down. Liam thought he heard someone say "i bet you cant finish that mate" and so he gulped the last 3rd of the bottle in one and staggered away to some corner. This left us pissed and happy and so we moved to our next bar. The Dali Bar.
In the Dali Bar which was so fecking hard to move in there i had my first brush with death...actually it was just a bloke walking like a fool with his fag dangling in his hand behind him and because of the compactness of the crowd he caught me...ok it was an accident i understand...next time ill bring a blowtorch and accidentally torch your ear off or something you moron. Anyway back to the night. We had a couple of drinks talked a little to everyone and danced. Then we decided to go to the next bar...we couldnt get in, so we tried the next bar, same result and the same at the next...ohhh our nights ruined then? Thats the end is it we all go home and get in bed and dream of better nights? Nope some genius comes up with the idea to catch the train back to Bolton, walk across town and get in Thornes before the fecking bouncers decide its no entry time.
Its here where the night kicks off for the better...the whole Wigan Trainstation made the night, everyone got to know everyone...some people better than others eh Phil? Jenni? Second dice with death..ok no trains were due but i did fall off the train platform and it could of happened anytime...infact the train was probably due but it was late. I was lucky people helped me up...i could of done it myself but i can thank a green bottle of shit for taking that away from me. Me and Phil relieved ourselves for about the 10th time of the night on the side of the tunnel near the end of the platform. And people had a good laugh. By now the group had dropped by about 1/2 some stayed in Wigan, others probably went home being to exausted to continue. But us real party people continued into the night.
The train journey went abit like this WIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. With some bits i remember:
1) A boy who had been mugged wanted questioning from the police and was going to Manchester.
2) Liam getting invited to a foursome with 2 Wigan ladies (mother and daughter) and her husband.
3) Phil and Jenni seeing if they could beat the world record for stop to stop snogging on a train.
4) Not paying any money for the journey.
Then we had a awesome night in Thornes keeping smelly people away and trying to rid the world of sweaty blokes who take dancing and invisible instruments a bit to seriously.
Fancy dress party this friday. Dunno what to wear but i know it will be hugely embarrassing and i would like some help so if you guys (if anyone) are reading this please leave a comment telling me what i should wear i have a few ideas but nothing final:
A) Mr Muscle
C) Drag (women)
D) Indian Woman
E) Mr Sockomatic - I cover myself in odd socks!
F) Nekkid - hmm.
If anyone has any better ideas then please or just say which you think i should go as?